Saturday Silliness

Happy Saturday! Here at the Vafi house, we’ve been feeding babies, watching The Kennedys miniseries on Netflix (good so far!), and listening to one of my favorite albums from my childhood. What would that be, you ask? Perhaps a collection of nursery rhymes put to music, or maybe Sesame Street's Greatest Hits, or maybe even something from an '80s classic like Fraggle Rock or the David the Gnome theme song? Well, it's a greatest hits album, but it's not from Sesame Street or David the Gnome. It's Paul McCartney’s album All the Best! Dad dug this up when cleaning out the house and brought it with him to Louisville when they came up for Christmas, because it only seemed fitting that it should be in my hands. I wore that blasted thing out as a 6-year-old. Why, you ask? Because I am the daughter of none other than Rob “I-Live-for-the-Weekend” Grayson, DJ, recording engineer, and music expert extraordinaire. This is the kind of music I had to work with growing up!

(this is the man the babies know as Grandpa being a DJ sometime in what could only have been the 70s:)

That’s not the only album I wore out in those days. Just ask Melissa McMasters, my former next-door neighbor and the sister I never had. Our Barbies’ adventures required a soundtrack, consisting of any album I could snag around the house, including such classics as:

• The Buster soundtrack
• The Bangles (The Barbies were known to put on rock concerts to select Bangles songs, of course.)
• a collection of 50s and 60s songs Dad put together for some event he DJ’d, heavy on the Supremes
• any song I was given cassettes of in dance class (intended for us to take home and practice with, but it really just became Barbie soundtrack material in my case)
• Wilson Phillips (hold on for one more day, baby!)

Thanks to my Dad, I was raised on a steady diet of the Beatles as well. Thus the Paul McCartney thing, I suppose. Every now and then it occurs to me that this is not typical of everyone’s upbringing. For example, most little girls don’t have a favorite Barbie named “Pomma” because they misunderstood a lyric in “Band on the Run” (“never seeing no one nice again, like you, Mama” - not Pomma!). 

Well Tamsie is off to a good nontraditional start - she seemed to thoroughly enjoy what she was hearing. She even appeared to be headbanging at one point, as she tried to hold her head up during tummy time - which we all know isn’t appropriate for Paul McCartney music, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Give her a few years and maybe some of these songs will inspire her to design dance costume apparel for her teddy bear that her great-grandma can sew for her. (What, you never did anything like that?!) 

By the way, both babies are doing a great job of holding their heads up while on their bellies! They are also smiling and cooing and generally being adorable at this stage where they are right now.

Speaking of music and babies, I’ve been oddly fascinated by this idea of rock-songs-turned-lullabies. I can’t decide whether I’m loving it or hating it. Regardless, Tamsie and Evie say their favorite song in the collection is “Who’s Crying Now?” by Journey, since that’s the game they have Chris and me playing all night long these days.  

Thankfully, neither of them have been crying this morning. Instead, they’ve been napping. Here are some interesting sleeping positions we’ve caught them in, starting way back in the NICU. (By the way, sorry many of these are so dark - because they were sleeping I couldn't use a camera with a flash, so out came the iphone to the rescue!)

 I love Tamsie's arm positions in this one, plus it looks like she's wearing a bishop's hat:

 They still love sleeping with their arms in the air, as Evie models so gracefully in this picture:

 Tamsie's turn!

 Sleeping on mommy

Now we're out of the NICU! Funny face:

 Sleeping in the same position at the same time: Evie....

 ... and Tamsie!

 They can sleep no matter what, as Tamsie demonstrates while being held by her dad and Uncle Alex:

 I know this one is REALLY dark, but look at those little crossed feet:

 Sleeping in her hooded owl blanket:

 Her dad clearly dressed Tamsie this day, but check out that touchdown pose:

 Mouth wide open!

 one (mismatched) sock on and one sock off:

 OK, so they're not asleep in this one, but it was on my phone and I thought it was really cute:

 Hands in the air and fingers spread out:

 Sleeping with a leg under the boppy:

 And right now, Tamsie in her bouncy seat (Chris calls it "the swan pose"):

On that note, I hope you have a restful and relaxing weekend! :) 

The Backstory, Part 2: First Trimester, Continued

For Part 1, click here.
And so the first trimester progressed. Here are some highlights of the experience, as I recall them, following a few blissful weeks free of any pregnancy symptoms whatsoever:

• Feeling wonky. (Here is how I described the sensation in the pregnancy journal I kept: “I constantly feel as though I’ve been living off of copious amounts of junk food, but I’ve barely had any at all this whole time! Also, my stomach feels empty and gross - it’s actually making me feel sick just writing this!”)
• Having a really hard time keeping the pregnancy a secret, but given the risky nature of the whole thing, knowing that I needed to.
• Feeling wonky.
• Telling my co-workers the news much sooner than I would have preferred, because the office was being remodeled and I didn’t want to be around the paint, and because I kept working from home due to feelings of generalized yuckiness.
• Did I mention I was feeling wonky? ;)
• Riding down Bardstown Road on a Saturday night, being envious of those who were out for a night on the town and obviously feeling fine. I, however, was reclining in the passenger seat, feet propped up on dashboard, while Chris was in hot pursuit of a Smoothie King smoothie for my dinner (yes, I know that isn’t dinner food) - since that was the only thing that sounded remotely appetizing at the time. 
• Requesting a McDonald’s fruit & yogurt parfait for dinner (yes, I know... grossed out by anything else I could think of!)... then gobbling it down and driving back for another one.
• Getting an extension on my systematic theology final for Dr. Russell Moore’s class, due to extreme weakness and yuckiness.
• Popping Preggie Pops like they were going out of style, and downing ginger ale with dinner each night.
• Keeping lemonade and oyster crackers by my bed on my nightstand, and consuming them in the wee hours of the morning to avoid getting hungry, which would lead to nausea if left unchecked.
• Speaking of nausea - being nauseated by the following: the smell of my face wash (I wound up having to switch), those fast food commercials with way-too-up-close pictures of burgers and such (never liked those to begin with and hated them during pregnancy!), conversations about food, leftovers of any stripe, the idea of chili or anything that looked like chili - OK, let’s be honest: most foods! (Bless Chris’s heart, he had to put up with this day after day!)
• Telling Chris that taking me out anywhere nice would only be a waste of energy and resources, given my state.
• Feeling like a shadow of my former self, as I remember putting it!
• Being proud of myself if I could carry out my daily tasks and still have the energy to run an errand or drive across town.
• Being so ridiculously ready for the second trimester to arrive.
• Not being particularly bothered by any of the above, because I knew it would all be temporary and that it would all be more than worth it, and being encouraged that the second trimester wasn’t too far off!
• Never actually getting sick! Now that’s what I call winning, especially since I was carrying two girls! :)

Here I am in all my 11-week wonky preggo glory, standing in what is now the nursery! 

I'll pick up here another time.... :)

T&E FAQs

So I already had a post idea in the works for today, but then I thought maybe it would be fun to take a minute and answer some of the questions we get asked the most frequently about the girls. Here goes:

* Do twins run in your family?
The scientific answer is that Tamsie and Evie are identical twins, and identical twins aren't determined genetically. Fraternal twins are. See this page for more info on this sort of thing. That said, I've heard that there is some debate surrounding this. At the time when I found out I was having twins, I knew of no twins on my side of the family. However, when I announced the news to my Grandma (Mom's mom), she informed me that she wasn't surprised in the least that I would have twins, because every one of her first cousins had twins and she'd heard it skips a generation. Furthermore, her grandfather had a set of identical twin sisters, and her father had a set of fraternal twin siblings. In fact, she had thought she would have twins at some point, but she never did. Also, Chris's maternal grandmother was a twin - although twins generally aren't determined by the dad anyway, from my understanding.

* How do you tell them apart?
Right now, it's pretty easy, since Evangelyn is about a pound smaller than Tamsie. However, this is only due to the onset of Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome, which they experienced right before they were delivered. It basically caused Tamsie to steal a bunch of nutrients and a good bit of the blood supply from Evie, which made Tamsie have way too much of everything in her body and left Evie with not nearly enough. Consequently, there is a size discrepancy between the two. However, this is probably not permanent, especially since we were able to catch their TTTS so quickly. (More on this in another post!) In addition to their sizes, we have other ways of telling them apart. Evie's left ear is all wrinkly (and probably always will be), due to her position in the womb. (Apparently Tamsie was hogging the space!) Also, even though their eyes look very similar, we can tell definite differences. Evie is much more likely to open hers up all the way, while Tamsie is not. (Chris has said that I tend to open mine up like Evie does, and Tamsie takes more after him!) As their personalities develop, it also gets easier and easier to tell them apart.

* How do you know they're identical?
They were in the same placenta. All twins in the same placenta are identical, but not all identical twins are in the same placenta... does that makes sense? (It makes me laugh to think about how many times the word "placenta" has come up in my vocabulary since learning I was going to have twins!)

* Who do you think they look the most like?
We are in the process of hunting down Chris's baby pictures, but here is my newborn picture, for comparison:

You tell me! See any resemblance? I think you can also see it in my profile in this picture:

Of course, Chris and I were MUCH bigger babies when we were born!

* What are their personalities like so far? Are they just alike or can you already tell differences?
They are very different. Tamsie is much more laid-back at this point (most of the time). Evie is more expressive, though - she loves to flail her arms around and make all kinds of funny faces. We always say she's bound to be an actress or an artist of some kind! Tamsie was the first to smile (at an appropriate time), but Evie was the first to talk (of course we're talking baby talk here, but that totally counts! :). They prefer different kinds of pacifiers. Evie loves to be with Tamsie more than Tamsie likes to be with Evie, at least for now, but neither likes to be ignored by the other. Also, Tamsie is typically the better sleeper, but Evie is typically the better eater (despite her size!).

* What did they weigh when they were born?
Tamsie weighed 2 lbs 14 oz, and Evie weighed 1 lb 15 oz.

* Who was born first?
Tamsie. She was born at 4:09 am, and Evie was born 4:10 am.

* Where did their names come from?
Tamsie = my dad's grandma's name
Pearl = my mom's grandma's name (plus my middle name)

Evangelyn = Chris's Greek great-aunt's name is Evangeline.
Rose = We like this classic name and thought it went well with Evangelyn. I also have an aunt whose middle name is Rose.

* What is the hardest part of keeping them all by yourself during the day?
Definitely keeping them on a decent schedule and feeding them both. When I feed one, the other gets mad. Then when the first one has finished eating, she gets mad when I feed the second one. So basically there is much crying in our house for an hour or so during feeding time! If you call during a feeding time, this is why I never can answer. It's hard when they both need me at the same time, but there is only one of me to go around! It's times like these that make me really miss having family around much closer, to help out on a regular basis. But I digress!

(feeding is much easier when Chris is home too! :) Thanks Melissa for this photo!)

If you think of any other T&E questions you'd like to ask, just leave your question in the comments section and I'll address it! :)

Weekend Update

Hope you enjoyed the last post. I will plan on continuing the story of the girls' births (I'm guessing that should be plural since there were two of them?) as I'm able. For today, though, I thought a weekend recap was in order, so here goes!

Friday our friends Josh and Chrissie and their six-month-old Sophia came over to hang out. Tamsie and Evie enjoyed their first playtime with a non-identical friend!

I love how Sophia is grabbing her toes in all these pictures. In the first one, Tamsie looks to be interested in showing her new friend her sweet ballet moves:

 Then we lined them up from littlest to biggest:

 Tamsie was loving being in the middle.

We were laughing about the fact that Sophia is only three months older than they are - which means that, at some point, they will be about the same size, even though that's hard to believe right now! :)

Friday night, my parents came into town and stayed through this morning. We had a wonderful time with them, and they spoiled their granddaughters rotten! Dad and Chris enjoyed watching all the playoff games... well, except for maybe the part where the Saints lost. Mom and I had fun getting out and going shopping. I particularly enjoyed it, since I had a serious case of cabin fever by the time she came to town! Not being able to get the girls out much in the cold and flu season we're in, I am happy to go just about anywhere right now! When my mom and I went shopping Saturday, this is how we left my dad and Evie:

When we returned a few hours later, this is how we found them:

so I think it's safe to say that Dad enjoyed him some Evie time while we were out. Mom and Tamsie also enjoyed hanging out together last night in their monkey PJs:

In our efforts to get the girls on some kind of bedtime schedule each night, we've been enjoying reading to them one story from the Jesus Storybook Bible and then praying together. While my parents were in town, the girls were in for a special treat, as their voice talent of a grandpa read their stories to them each night. Here is the picture I snapped of them listening intently while Chris rocked them:

Mom and Dad were a tremendous help while they were in town! Saturday night they watched the girls so that Chris and I could go out on our first date in ages, to my favorite restaurant - the Melting Pot! Sunday they watched the girls so we could go to church - also for the first time in ages. We had so much fun getting to spend time with my parents while they were here, and we were sad to see them head back home today - but we're hoping to take a trip to Memphis very soon! :)

The Backstory, Part 1: The BABIES are OK!!!

Most girls have a truly clever way of breaking the news of their pregnancy to their families. I should have. After all, I learned that I was pregnant about a week and a half before my husband and I were planning on going to our hometown of Memphis for Easter. Wouldn't it have been perfect to plan some grand way to deliver the news in person? That was my original thought, at least! Then I got dreadfully sick and wanted my mommy immediately, 
so I called her up -- the day after I found out I was expecting.

(this is the first picture we have of my pregnant self, and this was taken at Week 9):

"Mom!" I exclaimed. "Where are you?"

"Driving home from work. What's up?" This should have been enough to stop me in my tracks, but dang it, I felt horrible and needed some sympathy!

"Well I just feel awful. My cold is getting much worse. I'm coughing, sniffling, sneezing. I can't even focus on my school work!"

"Well then, go to the doctor."

"I already did!"

"Did he give you some medicine?"

"Yes, but I can't take it."

"Why not?"

long pause on my end... "Because I'm PREGNANT!!!!"

And this, folks, is how I broke the news of my pregnancy to my mother. Minutes later I was skyping with her and my Dad. I think both of them actually thought I was kidding at the time. After all, the very notion of pregnancy and childbirth had always really freaked out my squeamish, scared-of-needles self, and I'd always secretly wondered if I would ever be up for the challenge, as much as I wanted to be a mom someday.

When I came to town for Easter, Mom and I spent that Saturday going all over town, checking out baby beds and nursery paraphernalia, shopping and planning and talking nonstop about it all. It was beginning to feel a little bit real. Mom and Dad took Chris and me out for a celebratory dinner at Houston's that evening, but when we got back to their house, something horrible had happened. I was bleeding.

"Maybe it's because I was running around all day," I thought. "Maybe I just need to rest." But no matter how much I rested, the bleeding continued. By nighttime, I was in full-on panic mode. Never had I ever heard of bleeding during pregnancy that didn't result in something unspeakable. I called the doctor, who informed me ever-so-helpfully(?) that it could be something bad, or it could be nothing. I would just have to wait about two weeks(!!!!!!) and see, since I was still so early on in my pregnancy. “So bleeding during pregnancy could be normal?” I asked, grasping at any remote kind of hope I could find. “Well, it’s never normal,” said the doctor, “but it happens sometimes.”

Waiting was (obviously) excruciatingly difficult. “It’s never normal,” I kept thinking to myself. We really didn't want anyone outside of our families to know that we were expecting so soon, and yet I found myself breaking down and asking for prayer in our Sunday School class when I was only about six weeks along -- which, by the way, I am very glad I did. I didn't know how I would make it until it was time for that fateful ultrasound. I cried constantly, fearing the worst.

Finally, the day came when I went in to get the news. I had been told that if the ultrasound tech found a heartbeat, the odds that everything would be OK were significantly high. Sure enough, we saw a beating heart. "There's your baby!" she exclaimed. "Oh, thank the Lord," I said amidst tears of joy.

"Wait a minute, what's this?" she asked. "Wow! You have TWO babies!"

I immediately started laughing. "You're kidding, right?"

I'll never forget her response: "Would I kid about something like that?"

"I don't know, would you?" is what I wanted to say, but I couldn't even gather my thoughts at the moment! I was too busy staring at the image before me of two little living beings that were apparently inside of me, of all people. Never had I ever thought twins would happen to me! In fact, Chris used to joke about how "easy" it would be to go ahead and have two kids at once -- that is, before I would cut him off by assuring him that carrying two babies would be the worst thing ever! The thought of actually having pre-existing twins had always sounded fun, but the idea of being pregnant with them was nothing short of terrifying. And in my What To Expect When You're Expecting book, which I had immediately run to Target and bought as soon as I found out that I was, I had noted that there was a chapter on multiples -- but had meticulously avoided it, for fear of freaking myself out unnecessarily. But surprisingly, in that moment, I was suddenly overjoyed at the prospect of twins. I already loved those tiny little beings on that ultrasound screen!

"Can I really carry two?" I asked, thinking of my skinny little frame.

"It happens all the time!" she said.

Returning to the lobby, I couldn't contain my excitement, so I immediately called my parents and delivered the news in what must have been the most cruel way possible, looking back on it now. "The baby's not OK," I said. "The BABIES are OK!!!"

Once I heard the doctor's analysis, however, I was filled with a fear I was never able to shake throughout the rest of my pregnancy. Upon looking over the ultrasounds, she informed me that I was indeed having twins, but that they were sharing a placenta - which is apparently the riskiest type of twins to have. She told me I would need to come in every week until the bleeding had subsided, that it was probably OK but that it was concentrated in particular around Twin A and therefore needed to be monitored closely. She also informed me that there was a high risk of their eventually developing Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome, which was a terrible condition that could potentially terminate the pregnancy if it were to occur too soon. Consequently, I could expect many doctor visits and ultrasounds throughout the duration of my high-risk pregnancy. In fact, she even termed my visit that day a "threatened miscarriage" on the paperwork. She tried to assure me that she did this so that insurance would understand the necessity of so many doctor visits and tests, but in the moment I wasn't very comforted. Each visit in which I received good news, however, would increase the chances of everything turning out just fine.

After the visit, I called my parents back to let them know that, while the babies seemed to be OK for now, there was no guarantee that they would continue to be so, and that all of us would need much prayer to make it through this thing successfully! At the very least, I knew when I left that day that I was in for a long seven-and-a-half months!

((To be continued...))

Another day, another doctor

My girls have seen their fair share of doctors (in addition to the normal NICU doctors) ... but thankfully, not because they've been sick. Let's recap:

- The hearing doctor paid them a visit in the NICU, and they both passed their hearing tests.
- They also saw the eye doctor a few times in the NICU, plus they followed up a couple of days after they were discharged - good results all around, and we don't have to go back for another year.
- They have now been to the pediatrician twice - once, for their regular 2-month check-ups, and then they went back for a weigh-in. Once again, good news for both girls.
- We've also had a home health care nurse who has come to check on the girls four times and to weigh them, to make sure they're progressing as they should. Thankfully, they have been doing great! The nurse also comes once a month to give them a synagis shot, which should protect them against RSV - something that preemies are particularly susceptible to that is also particularly dangerous.
- Tamsie was born with a kidney condition that we're hoping she grows out of eventually, but in the meantime she is on antibiotics to keep her from getting UTIs (which would NOT be good for someone her size). She had a few kidney ultrasounds while in the NICU, and since then she had to go to Kosair Children's Hospital for a VCUG test and then to Norton Suburban Hospital to get a urinalysis. Then we had an appointment with the urologist, who informed her that there are five grades of her condition - 1 is the least severe, and 5 is the most severe. Tamsie is at a 4. He was also a little concerned about something he saw on her VCUG, so now she has another test at Kosair next week to investigate a little further - followed by another urologist appointment the next day. We are praying that she just grows out of this condition and that it doesn't require surgery - and, of course, that she doesn't get any UTIs in the meantime.

Well, yesterday we went for another highly anticipated doctor appointment - this time with the neonatologist. Once again, the girls received a terrific report! They are doing just fabulous developmentally. Since their due date was supposed to be December 24, they should be acting about like two-and-a-half-week olds, and they are. We also found out that Tamsie is now 7 lbs 6 oz, and Evangelyn is 6 lbs 7 oz -- which was wonderful news, as I went in just hoping that Tamsie would have hit 7 lbs and Evie would have hit 6! :) The girls had fun playing around on the exam table while waiting for the doctor to come in, and I snapped a bunch of photos with my iphone (Evie's on the left and Tamsie's on the right):

They couldn't stop wriggling around the whole time! Really the main thing the neonatologist told us we need to work on is getting Evie to sleep with her head straight back. Lots of preemies show a preference for sleeping with their heads on either one side or the other - which can adversely affect their head shape as they grow! Not cool! Tamsie does not really have a problem sleeping with her head straight back, but Evie does. Now when we try to implement this at home, she cries, and I want so badly to tell her, "Trust me, you'll thank me later, when your head is not oddly shaped!" Haha! Right now I have her with her head propped up on her Boppy, and she's really not loving it:

I really liked the neonatologist yesterday, which is a very good thing, since we will be seeing her every four months or so until the girls are about 2 and half years old - when they should be totally caught up with their peers. The whole time we were there, I kept thinking back to the neonatologist we met in the hospital, and how much I really liked her too. Then, later on last night, Chris asked me if I realized that the doctor we saw yesterday was the same neonatologist we met in the hospital. I totally did not realize that! This is another story for another blog post, but my memories of being in the hospital leading up to the girls' birth are very fuzzy at best, due to the crazy condition of my body (and apparently my mind!) at the time. So I was really happy to learn that the babies' doctor is the same doctor who impressed me so much in my delirious state in the hospital! :)

In other news, the girls made their first official public debut yesterday! Once getting the all-clear from the neonatologist, we stopped by the seminary on the way home. It's fitting that their first outing would be to the seminary, since that is why Chris and I moved to Louisville in the first place! First, we took them by the communications office, where I worked before I had them, and then we took them to the Women's Leadership office, where I was able to introduce them to one of my very favorite professors, Jaye Martin! Then we stopped by our friends Kristen and Anthony's apartment on campus and hung out until the girls were absolutely starving and we had to take them home. We had such a great time getting to go out and introduce the girls to our friends! It felt so incredibly long overdue!

Today, our friends Chrissie and Josh and their little girl, Sophia, are coming by to see the girls, and then my parents are coming to town tonight and staying for the weekend! I can't wait!! :) I will try to update as I can this weekend, and stay tuned for some posts on the crazy story of their birth!

If you've made it this far in this extraordinarly long post, congratulations! I promise shorter ones to come.

Much love,
Shelby

Welcome to the blog, and happy 3-month birthday to Tamsie and Evie!

Welcome to our blog! My name is Shelby, and my husband Chris and I became parents to two beautiful identical twin girls, Tamsie Pearl and Evangelyn Rose, three months ago.

Here is Tamsie (photo taken by Tiffany McNair):

and here is Evangelyn (photo taken by Melissa McMasters):

With so many friends and family members constantly asking for new pictures and updates on our sweet girls, we thought it would be a fun idea to blog about our adventures. I'm also thinking this blog will be a great way for me to keep track of what our life is like with these girls right now, because I never want to forget these early memories we're making. 

For those who don't know, our girls truly are miracle babies. Due on Christmas Eve, they had to come super-early, on October 12, due to pregnancy complications that were affecting all three of us. So even though they're technically 3-month-olds, they're a lot more like newborns at this stage. They have come so far in the past three months, and I can't wait to watch their progress continue as they grow! We are truly blessed to have twice the sugar and spice in our lives, and we hope you'll enjoy our blog! :)